Mastery Evolves Within

it is with time and clarity that I realize that what happened to me is nothing compared to 99% of the people around the world.

Be genuine, be kind, and evolve into the best version of yourself

[2017 -2019]

Amsterdam, October 31st, 2017, an unexpected punch to the head resulted in lasting neurological & visual issues that broke me down step by step for two years. Trial and error were my best friend and enemy. After two years of various therapies and clinics, I felt that I had to move back to Curacao and start over.

The last few weeks in Holland were tiring yet useful. Before I left, I had the chance to visit a Neuro-optometrist in Rotterdam. Neuro-optometric therapy is a process for the rehabilitation of visual, perceptual, and motor disorders. On November 7th, 2019, I had to do a 30-minute evaluation with a program called Vizual Edge. The assessment tested me on functional aspects such as eye-tracking, depth perception, eye-focusing, etc.

While I was sitting there as a twenty-five-year-old, my reaction was that of an older man. I scored very poorly on my first evaluation, indicating that I needed to improve various specific brain-visual connections. I was not sure if it would help me, but at that point, I realized I needed practical solutions to lessen the daily symptoms.

A few weeks after my initial evaluation, I moved to Curacao. After a month of settling in, I started my Vizual Edge training [ a Digital software system using 3-D glasses to help train six core aspects of the Brain - Eye connection: alignment, convergence, divergence, eye tracking, memory, and depth perception.

It took me 120 sessions of approximately 30 to 45 min to go from very poor to superior. The first 60 sessions came with many headaches and dizziness, but I knew I needed to continue. In moments of uncertainty, minor improvements were significant. In June 2020, I decided to focus on two new activities; Completing a program called ThePowerMBA, and painting. The Power MBA was in Spanish, which required me to study in a language I spoke casually but not professionally, and painting as an "offline" activity to re-learn how to focus.

[2020]

Back in 2019, I ordered a book called Stealing Fire by Jamie Wheal & Steven Kotler. This book was the perfect tool for someone like me at the time. My last few months in Amsterdam were painful yet valuable. I had about 30% of the energy I used to have but wanted to output the same as before the concussion. During these last three years, I had to rely on getting in the zone to get shit done.

As someone who used to get in the zone while playing sports, particularly Bowling, I had first-hand experience of getting in the zone. Getting in the zone is directly related to the challenge-scale balance. The task at hand should be just at the edge of your capabilities creating an internal war of whether you can achieve it or not. At this point, I adjusted my lifestyle and activities to get in the zone more often and consistently. Stealing Fire explored the stages of the flow state. At its core, it's a book about profound possibility, what is possible for our species, and where-if anywhere-our limits lie. The unknown fuels you in ways you cannot imagine!

Steven Kotler described the zone as an optimal state of consciousness, a state where you feel your best and perform your best. More specifically, the term refers to those moments of rapt attention and total absorption when you get so focused on the task at hand that everything else disappears. Action and awareness merge. Your sense of self vanishes. Your sense of time distorts (typically speeds up or, occasionally, slows down). And throughout, all aspects of performance, both mental and physical, go through the roof.

Since my physical activities were minimal, I needed to find a way to get in the zone that wasn't too heavy on my body. In mid-2020, I started to paint to expand my focus capabilities. I noticed something familiar, a moment where time disappeared, and everything felt terrific for 30 minutes to an hour. I had no dizziness, headaches, head buzzes, nausea, or anything like that. But after those 30 minutes, I felt nauseated and felt like I was floating; everything was moving slowly around me. I was not in control after painting. In the fall of 2020, approximately 1000 days after the concussion, I was yearning for one thing; to feel more in control and not let these symptoms control me.

On October 26th, 2020, I decided to take my final Vizual Edge evaluation. I was nervous yet felt good about it. I felt like I had gained some control back. After 30 minutes of intense exercise, I scored 90.3 which put me in the top 1%, restoring and improving my brain and visual connection to the level of the best athletes in the world.

[2020-2021]

During the last few months of 2020, I decided to go mostly offline, removing my WhatsApp and limiting external stimuli. I felt an urge to quiet down my mind by making my day-to-day life more simple and focused instead of scattered. After the Vizual Edge training and evaluations, my life quality improved slightly resulting in fewer headaches and some improvement in focus.

However, my energy levels were still deficient. I accepted the situation, adapted, and let go. That moment was a release of tension and energy. The moment I let go, I told myself, for now, this is it, and it's time to start over. I took this new beginning very seriously and recognized my potential. That was it, "I recognized" it. What I meant in the beginning by being broken down step by step was that at first, I thought this whole situation would last 4 to 6 weeks. After six months, I started to get worried, and after two years, with many setbacks and symptoms getting even worse, I couldn't continue on this path.

That specific moment when I recognized my own potential after three years was the beginning of MEW. My nickname used to be MEW. In a "let's start over" kind of way, I went back to the name MEW as a guiding principle to help me move forward as "Mastery Evolves Within."

[2022]

On January 29th, 2022, I held my first Art Exposition titled "The moment it hit me." The art gallery had a minimalist feeling displaying nine works of art. The night was filled with interesting, curious, and enjoyable people, making it a night to remember.

I mentioned earlier that MEW arose when I recognized my potential again. The feeling I got by getting in the zone was very familiar because I had been there before.

On November 17th, 2009, I first encountered a peak level of performance when I scored my first 300-perfect game in Bowling.
I recognized that letting go goes hand in hand with peak performance. Having no expectations but purely focusing on whatever is most important is part of the process. When I started painting, it ignited this feeling, and I looked forward to creating more.

[2022 - 2023]

In 2022 I continued to invest time and money into improving my brain health by doing Neurofeedback training. I started in the spring of 2022 and trained for approximately six months. This training has further expanded my range of tools to cope with the daily symptoms.

Sometime In January of 2023, I experienced the most intense “dizziness attack”. This happened on a Sunday after archery training. I stopped immediately and thought to myself. Should I accept this for the rest of my life or should I continue to another doctor?

A family friend referred an acquaintance who had similar symptoms after a car accident resulting in whiplash complications. I spoke with her, got the number of the doctor who lived near Amsterdam, and decided to call him up and schedule a few appointments. After my first appointment with the doctor, it became clear that my atlas had been out of position for six years and caused a lot of weird side effects. After the treatment, I had ten hours of excruciating electric shocks as a reaction to the treatment. I knew then and there that something had fundamentally shifted in my body. I was told it would take six to twelve months to recover.

June and July of 2023 were the worst I felt but I knew I was close to hitting the 6 month mark. Since then I’ve been walking a few times a week and that has been helpful with basic blood flow, mood, and overall health.

Meanwhile, I’ve been working on the second exposition titled “Movement” which will be held in 2024.

I will be flying to Pittsburgh on the 14th of January 2024, to see Dr. Michael Collins and his team of specialists at UPMC, the world’s best specialists for concussion rehabilitation.

I am great, better than ever, recovered, and I have moved on.